Life goes on...

The news has been out for a while now. 15 month deployments, so in other words, February. David will not be able to live with his son until February. He will miss Jacob's first birthday on top of all the other first holidays he has and will miss this year.
On to some better news... Jacob now weighs 14.85 pounds, is 25 inches long, and has a head circumference of 17 inches. He is 4 months going on 2 years. He has an attitude like his father. He is determined, lovable, and full of giggles. He loves blankies, toys that make music, and sweet potatoes.
David will be home in about 6 weeks for his mid tour leave. I have so much I want to get done before he gets here, I need to get my butt in gear and get working on it.
Spring is finally here. It's getting warm out. Jacob and I have gone for a few walks. He just loves to be outside. I guess that means I will be spending a lot of time outside this summer.
I really need to get a job. I don't know if I mentioned before that I got one but David didn't like how daycare was going to cost a lot and a stranger would be taking care of Jacob. Well, I need to get out of this house and make some of my own money.
David's deployment is going pretty well. A couple close calls but that's to be expected. I just miss him terribly. Deployment is very hard on a marriage. We seem to either be madly in love or we are screaming at each other over the phone. Lately it's been more screaming and yelling than the loving part. I am hoping it all gets better as soon as we can be back together. Maybe a little marriage counseling to smooth things over.
Life hands you poopy diapers but it also hands you the sweet sound of a first giggle...

Happy Easter!!!

I've now been a mommy for 4 months. It's had its ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know that's cliche but seriously I can't imagine how I lived without him and I know I never could live without him now that he's here. As I write this he is sleeping in my arm. Completely innocent and precious. I never knew what they meant by "a mother's love" until I had Jacob. I would rather die then see him cry one tear of sadness. I hope his worst of days are better than my best days.

Jacob celebrated his first Easter today. I wish David could have been here to celebrate with us. We did make the best of it though.

I'm falling into a routine so the days go by easier. I still miss him but I know I can do it and am handling things pretty well.

I wanted to send a prayer out to the families of the 10 soldiers killed this weekend. May GOD carry you through your time of need.

....................Take time to listen.......................

Struggling

How do people do this??? I know there are millions of mothers raising there children alone. I know there are thousands of wives waiting for their husbands to return from Iraq. I know many many people have financial burdens. I know everyone has problems..... The question is why am I having such a hard time dealing with it? I am seriously struggling, and don't seem to be getting anywhere.
Once you hit the bottom there is no where to go but up...

Missing my lover, my husband, my soldier, my hero...

My husband will never get back the day our son was born without him here. He can never go back and hug me or kiss me when I was feeling the most frustrated and alone. He will never get back the first 10 months or so of our son's life. He can never go back and watch first hand, our son's first smile or giggle. He will never know how precious our child looked in the light of the moon when he would awaken in the middle of the night.
I can never go back and be there when my husband first stepped foot in Iraq not knowing what would lay ahead. I can never go back and hold his hand during the memorial services for all the friends we lost. I will never get back the chance to say thank you or good bye to my boys who died serving our great nation. I will never know the fear my husband must have felt going out on those missions.
We can never get back all our nights we had to sleep alone. We can never go back and kiss and hold each other when we so badly needed it this year. We will never know exactly how each other felt this past year when we would go to sleep alone continents apart.
I will share with my husband all the details of his sons first year, in hopes he will be able to feel some of the happiness I have felt. I will thank my husband for all that he has done for our country. I will kiss and hug my husband, trying to make up for all the times I wanted to but couldn't. I will be at the airport waiting for him when he come's home for R&R and again when his tour is over. My husband will hold and cherish our son, making a bond he wasn't able to during this past year. My husband will know how much he was missed. My husband will eagerly take on the role of "daddy". We will lay together at night not sleeping just holding eachother. We will try to make up for this year apart with more love than anyone could know.

Missing my lover, my husband, my soldier, my hero........

Looking for a job...

I feel like I have to time yet all I do is sit at this house.
Jacob got his shots today, so he's a little cranky. He was such a brave boy though, I am so proud of him.
I am still searching for a job. The bills keep piling up and the Army doesn't pay their specialists enough. Hell, the Army doesn't pay anyone enough when they are sent to Iraq. Don't get me wrong I am very proud of my husband I just wish the government would prioritize things and give the soldiers more money, they have the hardest job in this country.
I will be hugging my husband in 4 months!!! I can't believe June is only 4 months away. So much to do before he gets here. I guess I am going to be busy in the upcoming months getting ready for his R&R.
When you have a baby you learn how to clean an entire house in one nap... Oh yeah, you also keep time by the amount of naps and bottles in a day.
Shhh! Baby sleeping!