Saturday, October 29, 2005

Talking on phone gets boring.

Only 1 more day left of work. I am either really excited about moving or really scared. I am not sure what this feeling is. I am just worried about the money issue.
David and my phone conversations are getting boring. We have nothing to talk about. I think it's because we have nothing in common except for Nessa and you can only talk about a dog for so long. Oh well, when I am with him we won't need to do as much talking cause we will be together and can do other things than just sit on the phone together.
My mom is having a baby shower for Sheena in a couple weeks. I wish I could be there. I know Sheena is going to make a great mom.
Halloween is right around the corner. So I am sure it's going to snow soon cause it always snows on Halloween. Snow on Halloween may be do to the amount of sugar particals floating in the air. Dress up and enjoy Halloween, it never killed anyone to have a little fun.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I really hate arguing on the phone...

Nothing much has happened since Friday. Yesterday Annie and I spent the day with Gramma. Then last night David and I got into another argument. It started about him not being able to find me for an hour and then about him not finding an apartment, and then about how our relationship needs work. Sometimes I don't feel any love coming from him and I know it's because he doesn't feel respected by me. It's just hard to show respect for someone who is yelling at you. I think we both need to sit down and have a long discussion about what each of us need in this relationship for it to work when I get to Texas. I just hope we don't put it off until we are both heated up in a fight. I think it needs to be done whe neither of us our mad.
I have one week before I move to Texas and I am very far from being ready. I will be busy this next week.
Long distance relaionships really are hard and I doubt if any of them actually work. You have to be with the person in order to feel their love.
Love is a great reward for hard work and determination. Arguments are just the nails in the foundation of love.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Lack of energy is due to lack of chocolate cake..

Here I am sitting at work so one would think I should be doing work. Nope, not me, I have no energy to do anything. I am very relieved it's Friday, it's payday, and I only have 1 more Friday left at Altru. I guess all those things still don't give me energy.
I have a lot to do before I move to Texas so I think I will be busy doing some of that this weekend.
I think I am starting to realize that Felicia is gone and the knot in my stomach is almost gone. The one weird thing is I expect to see her again... Well I guess in a way I will but not in this lifetime, I know I will when we all go to heaven. I just hate to wait that long.
When I get to Texas one thing I am going to make David do is some wedding planning. I think if I get him to do some things he might actually get excited and want this just as much as I do.
I could really go for some chocolate cake right now. I stepped on my gramma's scale completely naked the other day and I only weighed 123. When I stepped on the scale here at work yesterday it was 128. I am guessing these shoes and scrubs weigh about 5 lbs. or so because I am sure I didn't gain 5 lbs. in just a couple days. So, I guess I only have 3-8 lbs. to lose before I am at my ideal weight. I think I'll take Nessa out jogging tonight.
I was watching this music video today it was a song about loving this girl. During the video they (guy and girl) were just goofing around and cuddling, and it made me miss David even more.
Take the time to really listen to someone, not just with your ears but with your heart.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I miss you Felicia...

I have so much going on in my head I am scared it's going to explode. First thing I want to say is I love all my friends and family. I know I don't say it enough and I often don't act like it, but everytime I end a conversation or say good bye the one thing running through my mind is how much I love you.
I just attended Felicia's funeral. It was beautiful yet terrible all at the same time. She was a genuinely kind person and cared for everyone. It was a traditional military funeral. I'll see you soon Felicia! A bunch of my classmates were at the funeral and that made it easier, because we all knew how each other were feeling. After the funeral most of us went to Izzy's for a drink. It was nice to just visit with them all.
I will be moving to Texas the first week in November. I am scared yet excited. I never planned on staying around here yet I know I'll end up back home. I will be there until next fall. I love David and am very happy to be spending time with him before he is deployed.
Money is still a big issue but I am working through it. i have faith that it will get better.
Nathan was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I should have been expecting it because he is 20 years old and has CF. I guess I just don't want the inevitable to happen. I am praying I ahev another good 7 years with him.... Please GOD!!
I know there was more I wanted to say I just can't think of it right now so I will let this one end and hoepfully more comes to me soon.
Grab hold and hug your loved ones tight, for you never know when it will be the last hug.