Back to Reality

I dropped David off at the airport at 6 am this morning. Damn, it was hard to say goodbye. I wanted to break through security and give him one last hug and kiss goodbye. Instead I held Jacob up to the window so they could say goodbye. 7 more months of being alone. I can do it, I've did it once before I can do it again.
The last 2 weeks were great though. I picked David up from the Fargo airport and yeah it was a moment I now wish I had a camera for. I seen him walking towards the car and seriously my heart just about jumped out of my chest. I barely got the break set on the car and I was rushing towards his arms. It was the hug and kiss I had been waiting 7 long months for. Jacob was asleep in the back seat so I took him out so David could meet his son for the first time... Another Kodak moment I don't have. Jacob looked up at his Daddy and then put his head back down on his chest and fell back to sleep. David said, "he's so little". I guess he was expecting a 2 year old?? We drove back to Grand Forks so David could shower and change. We grabbed a bite to eat at the Red Pepper and were off to Warroad. We got to David's parent's house just in time to see all the Gaddie's. They were just about to leave when we pulled in. We spent that night at my parent's house. The next day we came back to Grand Forks. We did a lot of traveling back and forth from Lake of the Woods to Grand Forks. We spent one night at the Seven Clans Casino in TRF. We got the jacuzzi suite. That was a great evening. My parent's stayed down the hall with Jacob. We also got "family" pictures taken. They turned out great. We took lots of walks and watched some movies. I guess you could say we were busy relaxing.
Jacob is almost crawling and is sitting up for the most part by himself. He topples over a lot. He rolls everywhere he wants to go, but he is trying to figure out the crawling thing.
I miss David so much. I can tell Jacob does too. He keeps looking around and I am guessing he is looking for Daddy.
I love that man so much, I couldn't make it without him. These last 2 weeks proved that to me. I can tell all he cares about is his family. This morning we drove to Fargo in almost complete silence, we both just knew how much we loved each other and sitting in silence holding each other's hand was our way of saying that.
When I go to bed tonight I am going to miss having his arms around me and when I wake up in the middle of the night I am going to miss having our body's tangled together with just the right amount of space so we can sleep comfortably. I keep crying but I know that's OK and I know that the sadness will slowly fade as I readjust to life. I CAN do this!!! I HAVE to do this!!! I WILL make it through the next seven months!!!
Dear LORD, Please keep my husband safe during his deployment. Please bring him home safely to his family. Comfort me during my nights ahead and carry me when I feel like I can not do it anymore. Help us feel each others love even though we are far apart. Thank you, LORD, for giving us a beautiful son and for leading me to my hero. Amen

10 Days To GO!!!!!!!!!!

10 days to go!!!! In ten days I leave for the cities to pick up David. He will be here for 2 whole weeks!!!! I have so much to do to get ready. I wanted the house and myself to look great when he gets here. The house will be close but I am no where near how I wanted to look. Oh well, he loved me pregnant so he will love me now.
I would fill this with a list of stuff I want to get done but I want it to be a suprise and David might read this so....
I am so excited I could scream. That wouldn't be good though cause Jacob is napping.
I haven't seen my husband in 7 months, I wonder how it's going to be to finally have him home. I know it's only 2 weeks but I will cherish those 2 weeks, and then when the time comes I will let him go. He has a duty and that is to fight for our country and I stand behind him completely.
True heros wear combat boots...

Jacob and his Grandpas

A picture of Jacob at 4 months old with his grandpa and great grandpa.

Life goes on...

The news has been out for a while now. 15 month deployments, so in other words, February. David will not be able to live with his son until February. He will miss Jacob's first birthday on top of all the other first holidays he has and will miss this year.
On to some better news... Jacob now weighs 14.85 pounds, is 25 inches long, and has a head circumference of 17 inches. He is 4 months going on 2 years. He has an attitude like his father. He is determined, lovable, and full of giggles. He loves blankies, toys that make music, and sweet potatoes.
David will be home in about 6 weeks for his mid tour leave. I have so much I want to get done before he gets here, I need to get my butt in gear and get working on it.
Spring is finally here. It's getting warm out. Jacob and I have gone for a few walks. He just loves to be outside. I guess that means I will be spending a lot of time outside this summer.
I really need to get a job. I don't know if I mentioned before that I got one but David didn't like how daycare was going to cost a lot and a stranger would be taking care of Jacob. Well, I need to get out of this house and make some of my own money.
David's deployment is going pretty well. A couple close calls but that's to be expected. I just miss him terribly. Deployment is very hard on a marriage. We seem to either be madly in love or we are screaming at each other over the phone. Lately it's been more screaming and yelling than the loving part. I am hoping it all gets better as soon as we can be back together. Maybe a little marriage counseling to smooth things over.
Life hands you poopy diapers but it also hands you the sweet sound of a first giggle...

Happy Easter!!!

I've now been a mommy for 4 months. It's had its ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know that's cliche but seriously I can't imagine how I lived without him and I know I never could live without him now that he's here. As I write this he is sleeping in my arm. Completely innocent and precious. I never knew what they meant by "a mother's love" until I had Jacob. I would rather die then see him cry one tear of sadness. I hope his worst of days are better than my best days.

Jacob celebrated his first Easter today. I wish David could have been here to celebrate with us. We did make the best of it though.

I'm falling into a routine so the days go by easier. I still miss him but I know I can do it and am handling things pretty well.

I wanted to send a prayer out to the families of the 10 soldiers killed this weekend. May GOD carry you through your time of need.

....................Take time to listen.......................