ARGH!!!!

I want to spill my guts but I can't. I want to get everything out, because for some reason I am keeping it in. I don't know how many times someone can emotionally hurt another person and expect that person to be able to stand. People have really low points in their lives and I hope this is the lowest point. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Does it also make us a better and happier person? You can not force someone to want you, need you, or make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself before someone else can be happy with you.. Right?
Pain fades and life gets better, I guess you just need to remind yourself of that when you hurt. When you find yourself in a pile of mud you can't just stand there and sink, you have to keep trudging along until your feet find on soft sand.

Feeling all alone

I dropped David off at the airport today. I am back in Grand Forks. I feel so alone, all I keep thinking about is how bad I want to be with him. This next year is going to be wonderful yet extremely hard. I will be giving birth to a son yet I will be raising him for the next year all alone. In a little over a month I will be watching David board a bus and that will be the last time I see him until he comes home for his 2 week vacation half way through his tour. In 2 1/2 months I will be giving birth to a baby that won't meet his father until he is around 5 months old. Life is never easy yet it is often rewarding.
Don't ever forget to say "I love you", it is the most important thing you will ever say to someone.

Moving home

Today is my last day in Texas. I will be moving home tonight. I am really do not want to do this. I don't like Texas but that is where David is and that is where I want to be. I guess going home means he will be going to Iraq, that makes his deployment seem real. Maybe the fact that he is leaving is starting to hit me. I don't think I will fully realize that he is going until I am back here saying good-bye. Well these boxes aren't going to pack themselves so that means I got to do it.
Life really is like a book. You finish one chapter with a mind full of memories and start a new chapter with a mind full of curiosity.

9/11 - 5 years ago today.

5 years ago today. The twin towers fell, the Pentagon was crushed, and a plane went down. Terrorists flew planes into the towers and they fell. Terrorists crashed into the Pentagon and it's walls came crashing down. Hero's overtook terrorists and their plane went down in a field of death. Lives fell in the towers as memories rose from those ashes. Our nation's finest were lost in the rubble of the Pentagon but there strength fights on in those who continue to fight for our nation. Hero's perished so others could live and we find strength to move on from them.

Baby stuff everywhere!

We went home over the weekend and my family had a going away party for David. All of my mom's side was there and David's immediate family plus a couple more came. It was a lot of fun talking to everyone.
This was the first time my family or David's has seen my belly. I think they all thought it was cute.
I got to see the baby items my mom and David's mom had bought. My mom has a car seat I could use, lots of clothes, a bouncer, a tub, and some other little things. I am also going to use the cradle my mom has. David's mom bought lots and lots of clothes, a Moses basket, and a couple toys. Mostly everything they bought came from garage sales but I am fine with that.
Now all I have to do is get the room ready. Annie is going to live in it for a little while so I can't have it completely set up but I can get it painted and most of the stuff in there. I am hoping Annie and Susan will paint it for me. I wanna go about half way up with some baby blue paint I have and then put trim board around the top of that.
While I was up there my allergies kicked into full gear. They still haven't lightened up yet. I really hate having a runny nose.
My left foot keeps swelling up. I have only been up for an hour and it's already huge. It is kinda scaring me but everyone else thinks it's normal so I will just get used to it.
Cherish time you have with your family.