I have one month to go until my due date... I really want to be excited but I guess I am not.
David has been so distant lately. I am trying to understand why but still haven't figured it out. I know this baby wasn't expected and we were planning on waiting, but he has had 9 months to get over it and accept it. He never wants to feel the baby move and I had to drag him to the labor and delivery floor tour yesterday. At first he was all into finding a name for the baby but now that I don't have a baby name book sitting on the coffee table he doesn't want to even think about it. I think he's the only one who doesn't understand that pregnancy makes me hormonal and it causes great discomfort. I sometimes feel like I am the one who has to watch what I say around him. I think he has gotten more back rubs during this pregnancy than I have... Actually, I know he has.
Maybe it's not the pregnancy that is bothering him, but I really don't want to believe it is Jacob and me. Every chance he gets he leaves the house to go hang out with his friend, Brandon. When he does come home he sits in front of the computer and doesn't want to talk to me. I tried to make some nicer meals but he doesn't seem to care. He acts as if my working is a burden because I don't make enough money and he has to watch Jacob. The days I don't work or get done early he has to go do something without us so he can "get away". I take care of Jacob all day by myself and that is just supposed to be over looked. I agree it's nice to go out with just a friend and relax for a little bit but not 3+ days a week for hours on end. I wish he enjoyed spending that much time with me. He's been mentioning wanting to get another overnight job. I really don't want him working overnights because he will want to sleep the few hours he is home and I know that won't happen with Jacob. If David doesn't get his sleep he is very cranky. I wouldn't mind him working part time evenings and I could just work my work schedule around his. I like making my own money though and it is my time to get out of the house. I guess after reading through this I realize I am jealous of Brandon. Pretty bad when I am jealous over the time my husband is spending with his friend. Back when we were in Texas he seemed to enjoy spending time with me and Jacob, he never even wanted to hang out with the guys that much. What's changed since Texas? The only thing I can think of is that I am making less money now. I don't know I guess I am just complaining.
I shouldn't complain so much I know. He does let me pick out the movies when we go rent movies. He bought me beautiful diamond earrings for our anniversary, and all I got him was a cd. He makes more money than I do and I never feel like I am going without. He does take excellent care of Jacob when I am at work. He comes home to me every night even though I know he could be in bed with pretty much any other girl. I love him very much. I just... I want him to want to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
