Need a vacation!

As hunger pains make their way into my stomach all I can think of is that David will be home in about 1 month. I haven't seen him since June 26th and before that it was May 28th. It is getting a little easier to be away from him. I still hate every second I am away with him but I can get through each day a little easier.
I painted the hallway and entry over last weekend. Now all I have left is the TV room and kitchen and some touch ups here and there. Hopefully the house will be looking nice for David's homecoming.
David and I are talking about marriage more and more. I am not getting excited...Well not yet anyways.
This weekend, I think on Sunday, Annie and I are going to Fargo to hang out. It will be the first time I ever drove around Fargo...I know I can handle it. I've handled Oklahoma City, Memphis, and St. Paul/Minneapolis. So Fargo is nothing.
I am getting very burnt out at work, I think I really need a vacation. I just don't want to waste my PTO. Now I know why no one has lasted in this position very long. It is hard to leave all the daily stresses at work when you go home for the evening.
It is raining out and it's only 59 degrees outside. Where the hell is my summer!? I do not even want to think about winter coming. I still hate snow, it could be 115 outside and I would still rather have that than snow.
I have been watching "Miami Ink" and I would like to get a tattoo but I have no idea what off. It has to be special and mean something to me. Maybe I should wait until after I have a kid and get their name or something done on me. I also want to get my belly button redone, but I should also wait until I've had a baby so I don't have to take it out again.
I am finally noticing some difference in my body from working out 4 days a week. Now that I can see results it's not as hard to make myself go.
"...I've never seen a hearse with a luggage rack..." Material things stay here when we go, the important things are the things we can take with us when we leave this world.

Spleen issues

I am starving! I eat way too much but food tastes really good.
My gramma was put in the hospital on Sunday evening for a grade 3 tear in her spleen. She doesn't know how it happened but she is doing pretty good. I think she will live forever. Due to her being in the hospital my mom, Myra, Wanda, and Ronnie are all down here.
Over the weekend I went to Hannah and RaeAnna's birthday party. It was nice to play with them and see Terrina and Steph and Sheena. I was thrown in the wading pool by Andy (Terrina's boyfriend). I got soaked so I had to wear Sheena's old clothes. I was shocked I actually fit in to her old clothing. Sheena and Hannah decided to come spend a week at my house. Sheena and I talked the whole way to Grand Forks. It was nice to have a good conversation with her. I can't believe how much she is showing! Her belly is really cute. I wish I had a baby. Oh well I am sure I will soon enough.
I went to see a "couselor" today because I was started on Lexapro and my doctor thought I should go see one. I did alot of talking and kind of know where I need to go and things. She told me to read a book and maybe see her back sometime. I think after I read the book and try a couple of things she mentioned then I will make an appointment to see her again.
David and I are finally talking more seriously about marriage. It makes me happy to just think about it. I just wish we had a date.
David and I had a little argument the other night but we talked through it. Now that he has a cell phone our communication is much nicer.
I had my yearly review yesterday and I have the second half of it on the 12th of August. I better get a raise. I think if it sounds like I am not getting one then I will need to demand a raise. I can hear David's voice in my head telling me I am just saying that and I won't actually do that. I think I will because I really need the money.
I haven't actually worked in so long I don't know if I am going to know how to when I need to.
Mmmm, I just spotted a pizza delivery man I think I should go jump him.
Act like a child tonight and you will discover pure happiness.

Random thoughts flowing from my ass

I did absolutly nothing over the weekend. I wasted the last two days of my life on eating and watching tv. I was going to turn that around and get up early to work out but my bed was just too nice and I couldn't get my lazy ass out.
I want to get my house finished so I have the possiblity to move to Texas some time. I really don't think I would mind it down there. I tried talking to David about marriage kind of stuff last night and he wasn't in the mood to do so. I think all he wants to do is sign some papers so we're married. I am fine with that as long as I know I will have a real wedding when he is out of the army or sometime in the future. I just wish we could talk about it so I don't have to continue to worry about it.
I have a doctor appointment in 30 minutes. I really don't want to go.
I want cereal. It has been a long time since I have had a bowl of cereal. Sounds really good right now.
I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Thursday. That is an awesome movie. I am definantly going to watch it again.
"Two people acting stupid is called love" I think that is very true because when you are in love you do things and say things you would have thought to be stupid before you fell in love with this person.
"Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go..." For some reason I have that line running through my head. I wonder why?.
Everyone needs a canine companion...They love you unconditionaly, they listen to all your complaints, and they think you are the best thing in the world when you throw ball to them. How could you not love something that wants to lay next to you in bed all Sunday?

21 years 3 days and 3 hours.

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Lack of Zzz's

Happy belated birthday America!!!
I celebrated the 4th by hanging out and relaxing. I went to Roosevelt's annual flea market. Lots of things I wanted to buy but I didn't have the money to even think about it. My dad bought me a clock for my kitchen. It really goes with the 50's theme I am putting in there. My dad spoils me and I have accepted that. My aunt gave me my grandmother's first diamond ring. It had to be cut from her finger not long before she passed away due to arthiritis inflammation. My aunt had it fixed and gave it to me because she knew it would be something I would cherish. It is small and simple but holds a piece of my grandmother. In 3 days it will be 3 years since I last seen her. I wish I would have gotten more time with her. I am grateful for every second I had with her though.
David got a cell phone so now he seems to be closer to me. He doesn't seem as far now that I can talk to him more often. I just wish I could be there in Texas with him.
In 3 days I will be turning 21!!! I am happy to be spending it with family, I just wish I could end that night next to David.
I got back to Grand Forks at 2 something this morning. I am not too tired right now but I know it will hit me this afternoon.
I have lots of little things to do this week. I will first have to figure out how to make my lack of money last through the week though.
When someone passes they are not gone; for you hold a piece of them in your heart, in your memories.