Jacob's first Halloween and a year since deployment day...

One year ago today the big white bus took my heart away...
David left for Iraq one year ago today. While I watched him walk out of that gym and board the white bus that would take him to the airport my heart broke. I had no idea how I was going to make it. It is the worst feeling in the world, watching someone you love walk away and you have no idea if you will ever see them again. While I watched him leave that gym so many thoughts filled my mind; how would I function without him, how will I give birth without him by my side, and will he ever meet his son. I have did it though. I learned to function without him physically being here, yet I email him my daily problems. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and only cried a little. David met his wonderful son and watching him hold his son for the first time took my breath away.
I often think back to how I felt standing all alone on those crowded bleachers watching and feeling my heart leave. Then I think about all I have accomplished this past year and how I have grown. Only three words can explain how I feel: I made it.
I know I shouldn't jump the gun on the feeling of accomplishment because I still have 2 1/2 months to go but I know I can make it. Hell, I could do it standing on my head.
Today was Jacob's first Halloween. He went trick or treating and got lots of candy. He was dressed up as a puppy and everyone thought he was adorable. I did happen to notice there is some candy he can not eat so I guess that means Mommy will have to help him... Yay, for me!
My cousin, Sheena, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy early Monday morning. His name is Ashden and he is absolutely gorgeous. Congrats Sheena! I love you!
I do have a cute story to add to this post... My cousin's 5 year old daughter Hannah was playing with Jacob while we were visiting them. She cam up to me and asked me if she could take care of Jacob so I told her yes and let her play mommy. A little while later she asked me if she could "have" Jacob. I told her if her mom said yes then she could, knowing her mom would never say yes. She asked me that same question two more times before we went to pick her mom up for work and I told her I knew her mom would say no but if she said yes then she could have Jacob. We are on our way back home after picking her mom up from work when she asks her mom if she could have Jacob. Her mom says, "What?", and Hannah says, "Jessi said we could have Jacob if you say yes." My cousin's starts laughing and Hannah says, "Please Mom! I will do everything, even take out the garbage!" My cousin of course said no, but it was the cutest thing and a memory that continues to make me laugh.
Never be afraid to love and laugh. Memories made with those you love are the best of memories made.