Being a mom

I am falling into the routine of being a mom. I hate the middle of the night feedings and the episodes of crying for no apparent reason... Those two things really stress me out, maybe it's because I can't share those times with David. I love the wide open mouth smiles and the coos, they make my heart melt. I think I've kissed all the hair off the top of his head, haha! Yeah, his hair is thinning. He now weighs a little over eleven pounds. He started eating cereal a couple days ago, I know he's a little young but he always seemed hungry... My baby is a little oinker.
David is getting homesick, I can tell. I think the calls home are getting hard for him. I just wish I could hug him and tell him everything will be OK. He's always so good at making me feel better, I just wish I could reassure him as easily.
I am going to go get David's car on Thursday. I am dreading the ride but looking forward to being in Texas again, even if it's for only one day. I am going to miss Jacob though, it will be the longest time that I've been away from him.
I am still in need of a job. We are barely making keeping our heads above water financially. Hopefully I find work soon.
JUNE JUNE JUNE JUNE.... I just got to keep telling myself it's only 4 1/2 more months and I will be hugging my husband again.
My little oinker is hungry.... again.
Look into your baby's wide, open mouthed smile and all you feel is complete happiness...

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year!!!
What does this year have in store for me? I pray it is full of love and happiness. I want to laugh and never cry, I want to love and never hate, and i want to be loved and never be scared.
My resolutions for this year are:
1) Lose 20 pounds
2) Exercise and become fit
3) Be happy with myself and know no one can make me happy but myself.
4) Be better off financially than I was this year.
5) Organize my life

Jacob's Here!!!

Wow, so much has happened since I was last on here. First things first, I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy. His name is Jacob and he was born December 7th at 3:02 pm in Grand Forks, ND. He weighed 8 lbs 0.8 oz and was 22 inches long. Childbirth is physically the hardest thing you will ever do in your life but it is soo worth it. David was able to call about 2 hours after he was born. He found out through his dad, I wish it could have been me but what can I do. I have taken many many pictures and I had the birth recorded and mailed it to him. I can't wait till he gets it and watches it, I think he will realize how difficult childbirth is and appreciate me more.

I feel like I am riding an emotional rollercoaster. One moment I am extremely happy and the next I am in tears. I can't believe I have a beautiful son yet I miss his father terribly.

I have taken Jacob to see David's parents and his aunt. I am going to keep them as involved as my family is.

Christmas is fast approaching and I haven't bought any gifts. I guess that will keep me busy this next week.

I have never felt love so strong until I looked into my childs eyes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!
I know there is so much I should be thankful for this Thanksgiving but I am depressed and that seems to be shadowing the happiness I should be feeling. I can't seem to quit thinking about some things that I wish I could, I miss David terribly, and I am confused on some other things floating around in my mind. I really shouldn't fill this with woo is me, I have much more than many other people out there. For one thing I was able to celebrate this day with my family unlike those serving in Iraq. I am also going to celebrate the birth of my child very soon and just that is something I am very thankful for. I have a family that loves me, clothes to wear, a roof over my head, and a full stomach... Thank you LORD.
I hope the depressing, confusing thoughts escape my mind soon. I really don't know how to get things out of my mind, but to talk about them and that's something I can't do right now. I guess I will figure it all out some time.
I have been blessed, sometimes we forget that and have to remind ourselves. If you're going to count your problems remember to count your blessings, because there's always more to be happy about than to grumble about.

Talked to David!

I just got done talking to David over MSN. I don't know what to say to him. I want to tell him how much I miss and love him but I always end up talking about stupid stuff that doesn't matter. It hurts so bad to be away from him. I really need to get busy so time goes by quicker. This weekend I am going to Texas to get his car, well I guess it's our car but I can't get myself to call it anything but his. I will be traveling with his Dad and Susan.
6 months and I will see David's face again. I can do it, I did almost 4 months with only talking to him on Sundays for 10 minutes. David did tell me in a short email I got yesterday that they are going into a very dangerous part of Iraq. I kind of wish I didn't know that, but that's OK cause he will come home to me.
Today would have been my cousin, Hailey-Joh's, birthday. She was born Nov. 6 1998 and passed away May 9 1999. Miss you and love you Hailey!
Everyone who reads this please keep him and my other fister boys of 1st Cav in your prayers.
Laughter keeps you from falling down when your world is shaking and turning upside down.